Humor

"Beyond 'Cops': Other Series Reboot Plans for FOX Nation" -The New Yorker

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"More Activities That Penguins Have Been Permitted During Lockdown" -The New Yorker

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"Alternative Currencies For a New Economy" -The New Yorker

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"Conspiracy Theories That Never Gained Traction" -The New Yorker 

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"I Have No Idea What I'm Doing" -The New Yorker

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"Pistachios vs. Almonds" -The New Yorker

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**You can read all the other funny things that David Remnick specifically asked me to write for the New Yorker right here**

"Scenes From the Topgolf Inside the Buffalo Wild Wings Inside DFW Airport" -the fan fiction I was born to write (D Magazine)

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"Scenes From the Nancy Best Fountain at Klyde Warren Park" -my introduction into "fountain fiction" (D Magazine)

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"I'm So Pretty" -my quest to raise my social stock through cosmetic teeth whitening (D  Magazine)

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"I Went To JMBYLA and All I Got Was This Lousy Self-Awareness Of My Fleeting Youth" (D Magazine)

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"Tips For Winning Workplace Culture By Winning Your March Madness Pool" -McSweeney's

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"Chris Bosh's Shooting Stars Legacy and the Heart of All-Star Saturday Night" -on the dorkiest, least-loved part of of All-Star Weekend (VICE)